I had an amazing conversation with a friend of mine last night, and decided that it would be a good topic to write about. My friend Mary Ann lives on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. Recently, she lost her home and everything she owns, courtesy of Hurricane Katrina. This is a person who has already led a challenging and inspirational life. Her mother had cervical cancer when she was born, and many of Mary Ann’s organs did not fully develop. She has battled many health problems for most of her life, but in the last few years she has finally been in a place of good health, and was able to create a thriving business she is very proud of. She spent most of her free time in her garden, which was absolutely enchanting. It was filled with flowers, butterflies, birds, dragonflies, as well as many other furry creatures that Mary Ann devotedly fed and invited to visit. I still can’t believe that this magical garden which felt like a fairy tale to me, is now gone, with nothing left but mud and debris.
One of the things that created the bond between Mary Ann and I was our mutual love of beauty and our desire to have our homes reflect the things in life that give us meaning and joy. She also happens to have an amazing sense of humor. Right now she is living with friends of a friend, camping out in a tiny room with her beloved cat Cinnamon, two of her favorite books and piece of her mother’s jewelry that she retrieved from the debris that was once her beloved home. As we talked, I asked her how she structured her days now that everything that was once familiar had been destroyed. As I listened to her recount some of her experiences, she confessed how much she craved a semblance of order, and just some small measure of beauty and comfort. I wanted to know how she was coping – and what she was doing to meet that need. She described something to me that fills me with awe every time I think about it.
In the days that followed the storm, most of the green vegetation was destroyed and despite the oppressive heat and humidity, the area has the eerie countenance of winter. The natural habitat and food systems were wiped out, and the natural order appeared to have been severely interrupted. But as the weeks passed, signs of new life started to appear. Yesterday, when Mary Ann was driving, she pulled over to observe a once magnificent bush that was timidly coming back to life. She noticed tiny green buds sprouting along branches that were daring to begin again despite being so traumatized. As she savored the hope that this new life seemed to bring, she saw two beautiful butterflies hovering near a sole blossom that had just begun to unfold. She sat transfixed by their grace and fragility, and was filled with a sense of peace that she had not felt since before the storm. As she recounted this to me, I realized that she expressed what I most admire about the human spirit, our capacity to seek joy and inspiration from wherever or whatever we are faced with, even in extreme tragedy and loss.
Life goes on, it amazingly perseveres. Beauty always reemerges and we are constantly led by new life coming forth that pulls us along until we are ready to walk on our own. My love of nature and beauty is usually what fills me with hope and makes me want to use my life to bring more light and joy into the world. I know that this shared love of beauty will be what guides Mary Ann to find a new home and create another magical garden. It is just a natural consequence of the beauty and grace inside of her. In the meantime life will pull her along and keep her seeking and believing as she searches through the remnants of her life that is now a pile of rubble.
Our phone conversation continued and we started contemplating what was likely to occur as her life began to take form again. Since Mary Ann loves to shop, we decided to make a list of all the things that she now needed and would someday be able to buy. We soon found ourselves laughing till we cried over the seemingly ridiculous items that appeared to be must haves. First on her list, was not a bed, kitchen supplies or something that might sound practical like sheets or towels. In fact, the top item on our list may really surprise you. We actually spent the next half hour discussing her new shoes!! As we both started to laugh, I could feel a sense of normalcy starting to return. We were amazed at the deeply profound conclusion we reached about women, life and what inspires us the most in our darkest hour. You have probably heard that expression Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Well here is what we decided. Forget about all that. Hell hath no fury like a woman who has lost her shoes in a hurricane!
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